Over the past week, after last week’s mass shooting which targeted women, a beautiful hashtag, #YesAllWomen, was shared over one million times on social media from women all across this world as they shared their personal experiences with acts of misogyny, rape, harassment, and fear of sexual, physical, and emotional assault as a motion of solidarity. The entire point of this social media activism was to show that nearly all women have been affected – in one way or another – by this perverse problem that is further assaulting women and continues to marginalize them as human beings.
I’ve been raped.
I’ve been spiritually raped.
I’ve been emotionally raped time and time again.
I’ve been cat called at.
I’ve been inundated with graphic and illicit email, direct messages, and texts.
I’ve been minimized to my mere vagina, breasts, and mouth.
I’ve been seen as just a sexual object, while my fellow man is seen with truth, valor, and respect.
He gets dignity while I get drunken “Hey, bitch, suck my dick.”
#YesAllWomen is something that’s been waiting to happen and I think it’s beautiful movement, even if it is short-lived, to show how women deal with such asinine creatures on a day-to-day basis.
Over the past few months, I’ve been pretty fuckin’ courageous in discussing my own rape. I’ve talked very candidly about how I felt dirty, rotten, and despicable the night when my soul was taken from me and it took nearly a decade to reclaim that back.
I was desolate.
I was empty.
I was a drought.
I was forlorn.
I was nothing.
Key word: “WAS”
Now? As I have said before, I am a FUCKIN’ WARRIOR and no human being will take the badge of honor I so proudly wear on this day.
I WAS RAPED. And no, the length of my skirt didn’t – nor will it ever – justify my rape or other past, present, and future rape attempts.
#YesAllWomen, I’m still nail-bitingly nervous that my rapist will find me again one day, and rape me again.
#YesAllWomen, I still look over my shoulder at the rustle of leaves that I hear when I’m walking Scottie.
#YesAllWomen because every day I have to PROVE my WORTH as a HUMAN BEING as my male counterpart twiddles his thumbs and just receives his worth without question.
#YesAllWomen because my rape scars doesn’t define me, yet, this patriarch society says it does define me and my value is worthless.
#YesAllWomen because a mass murdering psycho in solitary confinement has more worth in a Christian Church than I do.
#YesAllWomen because I’m demonized when I say I never had this long-term goal of wanting children, yet men are put on a pedestal for the same thing.
#YesAllWomen because I WAS RAPED and me just uttering those three words terrifies you.
I said no, yet you said yes.
I said no, yet you tore my clothes off of me.
I said no, yet you clamped my mouth shut.
I said no, yet you thought I “owed” you something.
I said no, yet you justified it by my slight cleavage.
I said no, yet you justified it with me blood alcohol level.
I said ‘I’m not interested’, yet you said, “Show me your tits if you want to make anywhere in the sports business.”
I said “I’m okay”, yet you said, “You can’t climb the corporate ladder with fuckin’ me.”
I said “why?” when you said, “I need nudes to help you get a better sports radio slot.”
Your unsolicited genital pictures were sent under the guise of “every woman wants me” yet failed to understand this was another form harassment; softly masked raped culture, you are.
Saying my worth is mutually exclusive with my virginity.
The way I “carry myself” (which is code for, don’t dress like a “skank”) is directly correlated with my value as a woman.
I said “I can be anything” and you said, “You can only stay in the kitchen and have babies.”
You said I was pretty enough when you raped the other girls in my youth group.
You asked for me to sit in your lap only so you could feel me.
From the conception until my death, men (while not every man) will continue to depreciate, disparage, and demean not only me, but women across this globe, for the simple fact that we hold a vagina and a set of supple breasts.
For those that “get it” it’s not just about physical rape, but covers a gamete of other abuses that the patriarch construct has justified because, in their eyes, they are the honorable gender.
These atrocities covers mental, emotional, psychological, social, cultural, and as mentioned, the physical.
It never stops.
I hope it does…for my daughter’s sake….to live in a world where she doesn’t have to feel the need to validate herself and to seek value in a haphazard society that places value on her based on her physical beauty and what she can “give” them.
For my daughter’s sake, I hope there isn’t a #YesAllWomen 20 years from now.
For our daughters.