As a spiritual seeker, I’m often inundated by secular religion what “God is” and how boxed in fractions of multiple faces place God. I’m told, God loves me, but then in the next breath, I’m broken without knowing God or Jesus Christ.
I’m told God will never NOT love me, unless I’m gay and in the next breath I’m told if I’m a LBGT activist, I’m doomed to “an eternal hell.”
I’m told that unless I go to church to get “saved,” I’m nothing in this world.
I’m told that unless I tithe 10 percent, I will never be “fully blessed” by God.
I’m told it’s my fault that I was raped and that was God’s punishment for my wicked ways.
I’m told my son has learning disabilities because I don’t “know” God.
I’m told I’m a heathen…
… a detriment to God’s kingdom, but in the next breath, I can “attain” God’s love if I admit I’m just a broken, no-good, unfit, unworthy human being.
For awhile, I believed. I really believed it.
I’d go to open prayers on Friday nights and shout to the Lord in a room of a handful of people, how I was a pathetic human being who wasn’t worthy of anything.
I lived it. I really lived it.
I judged people if they didn’t admit they were complete losers without Jesus Christ.
I really sucked.
I was a loser.
I was a scoundrel.
I was a louse.
But not because I was nothing without Jesus, but because I projected that asinine and misguided way of falsely believing. I inflicted hurt on other souls by spitting out that same garbage, and that’s why I completely sucked.
Thankfully, I’ve forgiven myself for being a brainwashed heathen and have tapped into the brain God has provided me with; I’ve tapped into my true heart and its calling; I’ve tapped into my natural inquisitive nature and incessant need to research all historical narratives you will NOT find in the Bible.
So who or what is God? Why and how?
I don’t have a fucking clue!
And that’s okay…that’s party of God’s mystery. I’m done trying to figure her/him out, but rather, tapping into the truth God instilled within me and project THAT goodness into the world.
So what isn’t God?
God isn’t fear.
God isn’t hate.
God isn’t malice.
God isn’t homophobic.
God isn’t racist.
God isn’t a bigot.
God isn’t a sexist.
God isn’t xenophobic.
God isn’t a bully.
God isn’t vindictive.
God isn’t vengeful.
God isn’t bitter.
God isn’t greedy.
God isn’t violent.
God isn’t angry.
God isn’t manipulative.
God isn’t subjective.
God isn’t just for the economically rich.
God isn’t just for Christians.
God isn’t just for the construct of patriarchy.
God isn’t just for the United States of America.
God isn’t broken.
God isn’t unworthy.
God isn’t in need of saving me.
God isn’t the hate projected in this world.
God isn’t riddled with fallacy.
God isn’t a box.
God isn’t a Bible.
God isn’t any holy book.
God isn’t a hypocrite.
God isn’t just empty words.
God isn’t narcissistic.
God isn’t meant “just for boys.”
God isn’t contained in only 41,000 denominations.
God isn’t hell.
God isn’t heaven.
God isn’t negative.
God isn’t abuse.
God isn’t any horrible experience you have ever had in any religious institution no matter how much self-proclaimed authoritative leaders say it was God.
It just simply isn’t.
Or, at least, it’s not the God I know, love, and live.