I Am Not Broken Because ‘Christianity’ Says I Am


Tonight, I was at my son, Zachary’s, spring musical, which is just a glorified way of saying “it was 35 minutes of cute second graders singing” and while it was a nice performance, something else stood out, not only to me, but to my three other children. 

There was this well-articulated second-grader who told a story of two worms, and it wasn’t the story that was refreshing, but her sense of self and vigor. She had wire glasses, a cherub face, an audacious voice, and dish-water blonde hair; she was CAPTIVATING. A part of my brain said, “Tammy, this was you 25 years ago” and to my surprise Alicia and Andrew turn around and whisper loudly, “Mom, she looks like you!!”

First things first, my children have seen pictures of me when I was a wee one (dumb move) and they were kinda freakin out (in a good way) that a young child could resemble their mother. On the way out, my husband made sure to tell the girl ‘good job’ maybe because, he saw something hopeful in that little girl.

She stood on that stage brimming with confidence and bold fearlessness and the way she spoke was eerily similar to the way I spoke. Call me crazy (and I would if I wasn’t me) she stumbled over the word ‘and’ and blended together her “the’s” with her “like’s” just like I did.

It was just refreshing; a living reminder of who I was — who we all are before the world – and religion – told us who we are.

You know, when Christianity told us that we were broken, invaluable, and pathetic human beings who didn’t deserve grace, love, mercy, and forgiveness?

It sounds rather odd now that I have taken my ‘Christianity’ mask off, but that IS what the ‘church’ version of ‘Christianity’ told us.

We are nothing without Jesus.

We are meaningless without Jesus.

We are pathetic losers without Jesus.

We are just deplorable human beings without Jesus and we should just live our lives in shame and fear of judgement.

I am shameful without Jesus.

I should kill myself without Jesus.

Wait, What?

Think about it, this is what the modern view of ‘Christianity’ tells us — That if we aren’t “saved” by our “savior” Jesus Christ, and if we don’t “tithe” 10%, and if we don’t “give” all of our time to the ‘church’ and if don’t pray into a bloody microphone about how our lives suck without Jesus, and if we don’t admit we’re worthless sinners, we are absolutely nothing.

We are just broken shells of a human being without a purpose in this world.

Man, that thinking is really delusional, hateful, and self-loathing AND is not mutually exclusive with the Jesus of Nazareth that I know and love.

Would Jesus tell anyone that they are worthless?

Would he want people – on any faith level – want them to feel so miserable about themselves that they are making this very misguided version of  ‘Jesus’ an idol?

The answer is obvious, he wouldn’t, not the Jesus that I know.

I am NOT broken because ‘Christianity’ says I am.

I am NOT worthless because ‘Christianity’ says I am.

I am NOT insignificant because ‘Christianity’ says I am.

I am NOT miserable because ‘Christianity’ says I am.

I am NOT trashy because ‘Christianity’ says I am.

I am NOT busted…

I am NOT bruised…

I am NOT defective…

I am NOT crippled…

I am NOT maimed because ‘Christianity’ says I am.

In fact, I was PERFECT, BEAUTIFUL, CHARMING, FEARLESS, and BRAVE before ‘Christianity’ ever came into my life, and it was the actual fear-based ‘Christianity’  that PERPETUATED and PROJECTED those feelings unto me, so that I would be hog-tied to that social construct of being nothing without the falsified illustration of God and Jesus Christ.

The awful social construct that ‘Christianity’ provided, brainwashed, and embedded kept me – and other beings – oppressed…captured servants…Jesus zombies…underpaid hirelings…blinded cattle being led for a spiritual slaughter.

A system that utilizes techniques to further oppress people like me, so we become heartless robots to do their bidding.

But the great thing about all of this is, finding my own spiritual path (even though I’ve been hurt tremendously along the way) and realizing I have always been that PERFECT, BEAUTIFUL, CHARMING, FEARLESS, and BRAVE girl.

I am NOT worthless, I AM WORTHY.

I am NOT broken, I AM in MINT CONDITION.

I am NOT insignificant, I AM SIGNIFICANT.

I am NOT miserable, I AM JOYFUL.

I am NOT trashy, I AM A TREASURE.

And so are you.

Say it with me,

I do NOT suck without Jesus, I FU**ING ROCK!


3 thoughts on “I Am Not Broken Because ‘Christianity’ Says I Am

  1. For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:17
    –God GAVE us…as in we are *innately* like this.
    Not all of what you are saying truly adds up. Also, what about SELFLESSNESS and HUMILITY? KINDNESS, GOODNESS, GENTLENESS. Those are infinitely more important to me than beauty/ charm/ being “perfect”. I would rather someone say “Wow, she is so joyful, kind, and humble!” than… “Wow, she is so charming, perfect, and beautiful.” Now, we are beautiful!!! All of us. Inside and out. Christianity doesn’t disagree. But our beauty comes from him (we were made in His image after all!)

    You said this:

    “Think about it, this is what the modern view of ‘Christianity’ tells us — That if we aren’t “saved” by our “savior” Jesus Christ, and if we don’t “tithe” 10%, and if we don’t “give” all of our time to the ‘church’ and if don’t pray into a bloody microphone about how our lives suck without Jesus, and if we don’t admit we’re worthless sinners, we are absolutely nothing.”

    Perhaps, but I don’t know what church you’ve been to!! God asks us to give 10%. If you don’t, will He smite you? Lol…no. Does that mean we are going to hell? Thank God no. As for praying into a bloody microphone about how our lives suck without Jesus….I don’t know about other people…But i hardly ever pray in public…actually in the Bible it says to talk to God alone and not in front of other people.

    Now…for the worthless sinner part. I know this is going to bother you, and i am truly sorry…but you are one. I am one. Everyone ever is one. I know you are thinking: “Wait, why am I a worthless sinner if its Eve that did wrong?” Thats a super good question..one I’ve asked myself. I could go on a deep theological talk about Original sin and yadda yadda yadda… but the bottom line is that from their actions, all of humanity was tainted. What was God going to do? Get rid of Adam and Eve and start all over?? Odds are that the new people would do the exact same thing. And Adam and Eve couldn’t give birth to a sinless person. That just doesn’t make sense. So here we are. Worthless sinners because of Eve…Right? Actually wrong. While that may be true…we are worthless sinners because of the stupid, awful, and hateful choices we make.
    If a parent neglects to discipline a child, do you think that child will grow up to be a happy, obedient, law abiding citizen? HECK TO THE NO. That child will be disrespectful, lie, cheat, steal, etc. That is because we are “by nature sinful and unclean”. We are. I’m sorry. So does the story end there????? NO!!!!

    (this is the best part. prepare yourself. It gets good)

    See Jesus. (Who btw was perfect. Like without sin. Like He never sinned EVER. The last man on earth to deserved to die an unjust death….did exactly that. Bore OUR sins, our worthlessness, our mistakes on the cross. I am sure you have heard this a billion times. And if you acknowledge him as Lord, you are saved! And if you don’t acknowledge Him (which you don’t I know) You still rock! You are still beautiful and charming and whatever else you said because He made you that way. But you still sin. I still sin. And you don’t acknowledge what He did for you. Imagine how terribly devastating that is to your Savior. He died to save all of us. And yes, I know the whole “hell” things seems unfair. But honestly, you have to switch your point of you. Humans are not good. We just aren’t. We may have some good qualities…but we fall to sin ALL THE TIME. And we should be punished for those sins. But we aren’t. There is no checklist of all the good things that I have to do before I die to go to heaven. There isn’t a list of all the mistakes I made that damn me to hell. All I have to do is ask for forgiveness. And yes, I am “saved”. And (I just got goose bumps) isn’t that the most amazing thing in the world???

    You probably have stopped reading this by now. Im just a female college student.. what do I know right? Lols. But what I do know is that even though you haven’t acknowledged your sin, and you haven’t realized the grace that is available right in front of you…you still rock. You still are probably a really good, cool, kind person. But you are separated from a God that loves you so much. And who gave you those gifts to begin with. I know some of it can be confusing. I just ask you don’t rise to anger. I have not meant to offend you. And i promise I am not some quack trying to Bible Thump. or anything like that. I just felt like I needed to write this.
    I encourage you, even if you disagree…to do more digging. Because, you have some facts wrong. Remember, Christians and the church are tainted and sinful too. Don’t judge God based on the stupid mistakes of some Christians. Investigate the Bible, talk to a (preferable LCMS Lutheran) pastor. Just get the whole story. Please.
    I hope you have a wonderful day.

    • Thank you for your wonderful, superior-riddled Christianese comment. Also, thanks for making broad assumptions about my biblical knowledge (former seminary student and current atheist).

      It’s great you attempt to use your subjective religious views, (Shocker: not everyone subscribes to Christianity. LULZ) to make an objective, and heinous sweeping claim that “we’re all sinners” whilst proclaiming humans are “not good” … Tell me, is God coming from the heavens to help the Syrian refugees? Is this Christian God taking its hand through the clouds and saving that gay child ostracized from his Christian parents so he doesn’t commit suicide? Tell me, is this God saving starving children from all ends of the globe? Is God doing anything…anything at all? I’m sure you’ll refute with “But God is using so and so”, but the truth is it’s HUMANS doing AMAZING works – many whom do not subscribe to your religion, if any religion at all. These humans are good. And WHOLE. And beautiful. And KIND. And do not need to hear they are broken.

      Humans are not broken. Humans are not deplorable creatures needed a bloody martyr to save them that was perpetuated with men wanting to make a political statement decades ago.

      Humans are wonderful and tender and do far more awesome things than “sinful” things, but hey, thanks for being all loving and calling me a “sinner.”

      Humans do not need your haphazard theology and misplaced intentions nor a biblical superhero. We are our own heroes.

      Have a wonderful day. 🙂

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