365 Days of Impossible: How One Little Girl’s Letter Brought Me To My Knees

As adults it’s easy to get on our soap boxes and preach to others while we’re barely able to put the aforementioned sermons into practice. 

We have jobs and children, and if we’re lucky, we also have extended families, church families and not to mention our hobbies and interests or the mundane day-to-day activities that take ahold of our lives.

In the process of that habitual shuffling, we lose God. We lose our day-to-day prayers – our conversations with the most important person in our life. We lose our ability to stay focused on God and become more equipped with arguing with some random guy over the internet about why God isn’t about promoting ignorance nor hatred.

In the process, of the misalignment of our duties, we lose sight of our duty here on this precious earth. We lose sight of spreading the Good Word and rather we spread bitterness, malice, and contempt masked as “tough love” and sarcasm.

In the process, of being weighed down by our personal vendettas and motives, we lose sight of our eternal price. We move our eyes from our blessed Savior to blessing ourselves as temporary saviors.

I’m not judging. Or condemning. I’m just like you.

I get caught up.

I’ve been caught up for over 30 years. I have been caught up in my toxic relationships, poor church experiences, being the bully and being bullied, being ostracized, vilified, and JUSTIFYING ALL OF THAT by having a lackadaisical relationship with God and validating my former actions by the above.

Is my relationship with God better than it was? Absolutely.

Can it be better? It can ALWAYS be better.

This morning, I was doing what I always do after the kid go to school. Check my email, do a few surveys, check savings sites, and scroll Facebook – and usually I’ll read some asinine thing that I have to spout off about although God is telling me just scroll and roll.

Then I saw it.

THIS. AMAZING. LETTER. 

This 12-year-old girl, Taylor Smith, died from complications with Pneumonia. When I first saw it down my FB feed, I didn’t want to click it. I don’t like reading stories of people dying, let alone a young child that passed away too soon.

But I am glad I did.

Her parents found a letter that she had written in April to be opened in 2023.

A letter to her future self.

Here’s the transcript of the letter and grab a hankie:

Dear Taylor,

How’s life? Life is pretty simple right now (10 years in your past). I know I’m late for you, but as I’m writing, this is early, so; congratulations on graduating high school! If you didn’t go back and keep trying. Get that degree! Are you (we) in college? If not, I understand. We do have pretty good reasoning, after all.

Don’t forget, it’s Allana’s 11th birthday today! Sheesh, 11 already? In my time, she just turned 1! I didn’t get to go to that party though, because I was in Cranks, Kentucky for my first mission trip. I’ve only been back for 6 days!

Speaking of, how’s your relationship with GOD? Have you prayed, worshipped, read the bible, or gone to serve the lord recently? If not, get up and do so NOW! I don’t care what point in our life we’re in right now, do it! He was mocked, beaten, tortured, and crucified for you! A sinless man, who never did you or any other person any wrong!

Now, have you gone on any more mission trips? Have you been out of the country yet? How about on a plane?

Is Doctor Who still on the air? If not, what regeneration did they end it with? You should go watch some Doctor Who! Later though, you gotta finish reading your own words of wisdom!

Do you have your own place yet? If we’re in college, what are we majoring in? Right now, I wanna be a lawyer.

Have you been to Dollywood recently? Right now, their newest attraction is the Wild Eagle. It’s so fun!

Also I think I’m going to sell my iPad and buy an iPad mini, Don’t forget to tell your kids that we’re older than the tablet! Attached I also have a drawing of an iPad, so you can show them.

Well, I think that’s all. But remember, it’s been 10 years since I wrote this. Stuff has happened, good and bad. That’s just how life works, and you have to go with it.

Sincerely, Taylor Smith

I cried within moments of reading it.

No, I didn’t cry. I bawled.

Especially at the third paragraph. It was a beautiful, but yet sad reminder of how CONVICTED, ENTHRALLED, and DETERMINED this young lady was for God to remind her future self to put God first.

A tween.

A tween had so much passion I could feel the Holy Spirit tickling me this morning and I shut my laptop and cried until I was on my knees.

That beautiful young lady’s spirit … there’s not a word that can describe it adequately, but I think we can all agree that she had a heart like Jesus and here we sit…complaining.

Groaning.

Worried.

Transfixed on worldly things when we should be focused on our relationship with God.

Forget about the people who have hurt you. God can fix it.

Forget about your addictions. God CAN fix it.

Forget the people who have used you. God can fix it.

Forget about the lies.

The deceit.

The anger.

The maliciousness.

The bitterness.

The greed.

The rebellion.

The hate.

Trust in God and he can and WILL fix it all.

I wept until I was on my knees and prayed for this little girl’s family, but I also asked God why? Why am I crying like a baby out of the womb? Why do I have a soft heart? Why did I read this letter today? Why am I so focused some days and not others? Why do I let people hurt me? Why do I care so much?

Why?

He never answered me…yet, but He did hug me this morning and showed me things that DO matter.

I just ask one thing of you….

How is your relationship with God?

Don’t do it for me or for loved ones, but pray to God today for that little power house of a girl.

Throw all that useless crud out of your mind for five minutes, get on your knees, and just call out to Jesus. 

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